Guest Blog: Wearing Two Hats by Jillian Cook
When I have to fill in application forms: driving licence, passport, medical questionnaires, etc. I hesitate when I come to the occupation section. What do I put down first? Actor or Yoga Teacher? During times that I’m auditioning, or working on contract as an actor, then I have no hesitation writing in Actor. With the opening of this New Year my acting career has slipped behind a cloud, but my yoga business is booming as I gather more classes into my weekly schedule.
The unconventional life well-lived… For many years I was a member of the Shaw Festival; appearing in many wonderful productions, and in the off season, during the winter months, I’d find work in the television and the film industry. In Canada there is a large pool of actors, but we’re all swimming in a very small pool, so there’s lots of competition and as one ages the roles written – particularly for women – become fewer and condensed. Elaine’s recent blog: “Beauty through a different lens” rang clanging bells within me. The television and film industry is focussed on youth and the value of people’s looks when it comes to selling a product to advertisers and the viewing public. Anyway… I could go on and on about the challenges and vagaries of the industry, but that would be boring and take me away from what I’d like to write about, which has more to do with adapting to change as I age and how I’ve learned – and I’m still learning, every day – not to abandon the essentials I’ve gathered into myself through living what I like to think of as an unconventional life.
Teaching yoga and acting turn out to have a lot in common… When I left the Shaw Festival, through a change in artistic and management structure, I felt afraid, bereft, and lost – all those prickly things that invade us when coming up against unexpected change. At the same time, deep down somewhere within me, I knew that this was the next stage; what I needed to keep me engaged with my own personal growth. I had just turned 60 and I could sense shifts happening all around me and also within me. I had been practicing yoga, off and on, since my early twenties, and I’d returned to it during my menopause years. With the encouragement of actor friends I began to teach a twice weekly yoga class – mainly with the intention of sharing my interest and love of the practice. At the end of one class I had a revelation; all the things I’d been mentioning during the class were a reflection of the language that as actors we aspire to accomplish: focussing, concentrating, being mindful and present, listening with the ears and also with the heart, letting go of old habits, curbing the ego.
Learning to be flexible, learning to be fluid… At the beginning of 2005 I decided to travel to California to live on an Ashram and train as a yoga instructor. I wanted to take myself out of my comfort zone, to reinvent myself and to see if I could apply the skills I learned as an actor to that of a yoga instructor. I also didn’t want to become “fixed” in my judgments or ideas, but to be “flexible”; to move fluidly between work spaces – a yoga studio, an auditioning and rehearsal room. My daily asana and meditation practice helps me to be more accepting of what my life is really about, right here, right now, and nudge away those thoughts and feelings of “if only I’d done so and so when I was younger.” And when people ask me how I remember lines the answer I give is “practice, practice, practice.” Last November I celebrated my 70th Birthday. How can that be? It’s reality! I’m grateful for good health and grateful that I can teach 5 to 6 yoga classes a week to a wonderful and inspiring variety of participants.
Growing, vital, dignified…just a little slower… As I write this I look up and see a huge horse chestnut tree in my neighbour’s back garden. In the spring it will be the last tree around the neighbourhood to produce leaves and very soon after, beautiful candle-like blossoms. Come the fall it’s the last tree to drop its leaves. My neighbours have built their back deck around its huge trunk. It survived the ice storm a couple of winters ago. Its limbs are twisted and knarred and I’m sure its roots run many feet down into the earth. It’s my inspiration when I practice Vrksasana (Tree Pose). It speaks to me of living a long life, of being rooted, refusing to collapse as each year it continues to grow and spread in all its magnificent vitality and dignity.
Jillian Cook www.jilliancookyoga.com
